You're always aiming paper airplanes at me when you're around
You build me up like building blocks just so you can bring me down
You can crush my candy cane but you'll never catch me cry
If you dangle that diploma and I deck you, don't be surprised

I know my ABC's, yet you keep teaching me
I say, fuck your degree, alphabet boy
You think you're smarter than me with all your bad poetry
Fuck all your ABC's, alphabet boy

I'm not a little kid now
Watch me get big now
Spell my name on the fridge now
With all your alphabet toys
You won the spelling bee now
But are you smarter than me now?
You're the prince of the playground
Little alphabet boy

Apples aren't an always appropriate apologies
Butterscotch and bubblegum drops are bittersweet to me
You call me a child while you keep counting all your coins
But you're not my daddy and I'm not your dolly
And your dictionary's destroyed

I know my ABC's, yet you keep teaching me
I say, fuck your degree, alphabet boy
You think you're smarter than me with all your bad poetry
Fuck all your ABC's, alphabet boy

I'm not a little kid now
Watch me get big now
Spell my name on the fridge now
With all your alphabet toys
You won the spelling bee now
But are you smarter than me now?
You're the prince of the playground
Little alphabet boy

Alphabet boy
My alphabet boy
Alphabet boy
Alphabet boy
My alphabet boy
Ooh ooh

I'm not a little kid now
Watch me get big now
Spell my name on the fridge now
With all your alphabet toys
You won the spelling bee now
But are you smarter than me now?
You're the prince of the playground
Little alphabet boy